The more you achieve in life, the more you have to lose. Duh!

Our first letter is from Imelda Cabangcalan. She’s got a man she doesn’t wanna lose. Her name has been changed to protect the innocent as well as the not so innocent.

Imelda Asks:

There’s this guy. He’s an American. I met him at a popular club in Makati. It’s a nice club. A lot of us office girls go there. Okay, fine, I’m afraid that he might have the wrong idea about me. The night we met, there were a lot of, let’s say, easy girls mixing work with pleasure, if you get my point. I had my sexiest outfit on that night and NO, I’m not an easy girl. My problem is that he might think that I’m one of those easy girls! What should I do?

Boy Baduy Answers:

All right baby. You’re armed and dangerous and you’re worrying about whether he’s gonna think you’re a gun for hire. I take it you like wearing sexy clothes and I’m not going to try to convince you to do otherwise here. So let's get straight to the solutions. The first is the Really Sly Solution, the second is the Straightforward Solution and there are others. Read for yourself.

The Really Sly Solution:

If he were interested in women for sale, would you still be interested in him? If not, then don’t do anything. Just wait. If he tries to give you a monetary gift, dump him. You’ll know he goes with women for hire and you’ll be rid of one more Ugly American *. If he tries to give you another type of gift then withhold your judgment. He might just be one of those old fashioned guys who still believes in treating a lady like a lady.

The StraightForward Solution:

O.K., so you don’t care if he’s interested in women for sale. You just want to make sure that he doesn’t think you’re for sale. Then tell him. Say, I’m not for sale. If I like you I’ll go with you to the ends of the world. If I don’t, my treasures will be locked up like Fort Knox *.

The Repent Solution

O.K. Admit it. You’re a phony. You normally don’t wear the type of clothing you were wearing that night but you used them to attract your prey and then you went in for the kill. Your victim was helpless. You were mercenary in your approach and I’m convinced you’ll be successful if the American you met is as docile * as most "men" these days. Maybe you’re even a dalagang tigress *, a man-eater. Half a heart is better than none so you litter the Makati landscape with the pieces of broken hearts you’ve left behind. When you do get your man he’ll do everything you say and you’ll think you’re living happily ever after, as if. Repent!

The Sweet and Innocent but still Sly Solution:

You’re a wanna-be dalagang tigress but your heart is too tender. You really are looking for love. Here’s a way that you can deal with the situation. Don’t bring up the topic of "easy girls." You don’t want to plant an idea in his head that he’s never suspected. Maybe he never even had such thoughts of you. Since you’re not "one of those easy girls" then you’ll just have to let him find out. I suggest the following:

Make sure that when he calls you on your cell phone that he can hear your office mates in the background. Shuffle some paper around. Give him your office phone number. If you have a credit card or ATM card make sure to use it in front of him at least once. That way he'll know that you're not broke or looking for a free ticket to riches. Require that he drop you off at your home after dates. Don’t let him think you’re able to take care of yourself after dark, after all, you’re a Makati Girl, not a career jeepney rider. Repeat, he should not be allowed to think that you’re comfortable being out alone at night, even if you are! Make sure you’re never late if you have a nighttime date. He might think you’re busy at night! That’s what you want to avoid. Wear your office attire on the next few dates so that he can get used to the fact that you really are a Makati Girl and that you really do work in an office. Invite him to lunch with some of your office mates, just make sure you invite the ugliest ones. You don’t want to lose him now that he’s really interested in you as a Makati Girl and not some plaything. Most of all; don’t accept any gifts from him for at least the first month. Yes, I know Makati Girls love gifts but don’t. You’ll lose him forever and if you really want him you’re going to have to keep him interested even when he’s out of the country. Good hunting!

The Real Solution:

You’re lying to me. You’re not even a Makati Girl. You really want a date with me. You deliberately put your perfume, email address, cell phone number and the best time to call you on your letter. You even included a full body picture. Call you later!

BADUY!